Monsters

Chapter 1 - Page 22
November 10th, 2013, 4:43 pm

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Author's Comments:

Valik Sparks
Posted by Valik Sparks
November 10th, 2013, 4:43 pm
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Page 22! Guess how many panels it has.

Twenty. Two.

I don't even know how this keeps happening XD.


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June 26th, 2017, 10:44 pm
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Reader's Comments:

Posted by TheArtfulJellyfish (Guest)
November 13th, 2013, 1:11 am
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Hmm, how does this keep happening, you ask? ...Well, you do use a lot of panels. XD And a lot of them are just like, tiny little thumbnails of the characters' faces. The page layout could be simplified by the baloozians if you combined some of your panels. Especially towards the bottom of this page, you can kinda see how there are sooooo many shots, and they're all of basically the same thing. Facial expressions are important, especially in emotionally significant scenes like this (*SOB* Kira's first friend!) but perhaps you could consider easing up on them a bit. We don't need to see every reaction from every character to every line of dialogue. You could save yourself some work that way too. ;)
Also. SPEECH BUBBLLLLLES! I'm sorry, but I still have trouble figuring out what order they're supposed to be in. Main examples: 2nd panel. Do I read from left to right or top to bottom? Beginning of the 3rd column. Left to right or top to bottom? Fourth column. OMG SO MANY SPEECH BUBBLES IN SUCH EXOTIC ARRANGEMENTS DO I READ THEM FROM LEFT TO RIGHT OR TOP TO BOTTOM?
Well it's not THAT bad, and it does guide the eye on an interesting path once you know which order to read them in. But as a general rule, if the reader is rereading, it should be because your work is SO ABSOLUTELY AMAZING THEY JUST CAN'T GET ENOUGH OF IT, not because... they don't get it. This goes for panel order as well: just try to avoid any situation where there's any question what to read first.
Other than that though, I'm glad to see this series going strong. I think you've improved already since the start of this project. And, of course, ENORMOUS SPARKLY WINK! Omg it made me lol so hard. XD Keep up the good work, my fine, teleporting, fuzzy blue acquaintance!



Valik Sparks
Posted by Valik Sparks
November 13th, 2013, 6:03 pm
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@TheArtfulJellyfish: Rofl, thank you for another essay's worth of advice my friend! XD

I could definitely have combined panels here.. And the bubbles, looool, I didn't even realize how crazy they were until I looked at what you were pointing out. Hm.. it always feels natural to me, but I shouldn't be using myself as the basis for normality XD. I guess I see it as a Sine Wave, flowing left to right, up and down. And I think I try to keep the beginning of a dialogue stream starting either extra high or extra far left to make it catch the eye first -not sure how successful this has been XD. And whenever bubbles are merged, like in Panel 2 under the winky face, I always plan on Left taking preference.

But yeah I'm pretty much doing this by trial and error and based on my limited reading of other comics, and trying to maintain a style of my own. Definitely got a lot to improve on, but I'ma keep tryinggggg.



Posted by TheArtfulJellyfish (Guest)
November 15th, 2013, 4:48 pm
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@Valik Sparks: Yes, definitely keep trying! I don't mean to discourage you at all. I come from a mindset where "constructive criticism=improvement", not "constructive criticism=this sucks". XD
You're doing great, so definitely keep at it. I'd just probably try to avoid situations where left even NEEDS to take preference over up in the future. ;)



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